


Burning in Cold Night

by MaryByU



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bad Decisions, Domestic Violence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Hurt Jeon Jungkook, Hurt Min Yoongi | Suga, Jeon Jungkook & Kim Seokjin | Jin are Siblings, Jeon Jungkook is Bad at Feelings, Kim Namjoon | RM & Kim Taehyung | V are Siblings, M/M, Min Yoongi | Suga is Bad at Feelings, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sad Jeon Jungkook, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Violence, University Student Jeon Jungkook
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:21:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23250871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaryByU/pseuds/MaryByU
Summary: Jungkook was a lost soul.All he knew was how to hurt himself without anyone knowing. But fights and wounds aren't enough anymore, that's why he search for a better way to feel something.When he meet someone able to change that, he couldn't help but follow him, until he can’t take his eyes and mind off him.Falling fast and hard without knowing that his heart had started to beat again.
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Min Yoongi | Suga, Min Yoongi | Suga/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1




	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,  
> I'm really sorry for the late update.  
> Like I have said before deleting the old chapters, this is the “new version” of the story, there is some changing, but I hope you will like it.   
> The update will start again for all of my au like before (two chapter a week for this one), hope to read you in the comment !

It was Sunday night when it happened.

Summer night to be exact, warm and sweaty. The streets were still full of people, youth laughing and drinking under the moon, and couple lurking here and there.

It was easy to let himself lost in them, walking between the others, and just letting himself feel their happiness.

Jungkook wasn’t drunk, like many of the people around him, he was just too out of his mind to really care were he was going, eyes roaming on people, searching for someone who was good enough to what he had in mind.

It was past 2 in the morning, people were slowly leaving clubs are bar, a drink in their hand and arm around their friend shoulders, there feet dancing to whatever music was playing around.

And Jungkook ignored all of it, taking small street after street, searching for people who doesn’t want to be disturbed, his heart beating faster after every step.

It wasn’t the first time he would have done this, by now, he was used to enough to know where to go and which people would help.

That was why he knew when and where to stop walking.

He paused in front of a small building, the place doesn’t seems abandoned, but it’s was an area where people didn’t get out after a certain hour, the place was dark, lights off and deserted from any normal person.

Except of a group of three youngsters.

They were all wearing black, face hidden behind their hoodie and hand in their pocket, they were younger considering their frail stature, maybe in high school, but something in them was screaming violence and anger, enough that they would do their job.

Exactly what he was searching for.

He doesn’t wait, shooting an abandoned can in their direction.

If anyone would have seen him at the moment, Jungkook would have passed for a lunatic, for someone who wasn’t in his right mind.

But Jungkook was, at least he was doing this with a propose.

The propose to be hurt.

The can land to one of their feet, making them turn to him all at once, and Jungkook wanted to laugh at their behavior, of people with pride and anger, of people who think they owned the world. The youngsters seem to be full of anger, of something like hate lurking under their skin. And maybe doing this would help them decompressed a little.

He doesn’t say a word, walking to them freely, already preparing himself for what was to come.

“Having fun boys? Aren’t you too young to stay out?” he says with a smile he knew would just real them up. And it works when he saw them approaching.

They don’t answer, coming to him like a bee to a flower. And it was exactly what Jungkook wanted. People that could not even think that he was just using them.

It was easy to provoke teenager, they wanted to prove themselves, and would likely give in immediately with some words.

“Not your problem, ajusshi” Jungkook was supposed to be offended, he was just a couple of year older than them, but he just smile, taking one more step before throwing the first blow who land square in one of their jaw. And it was enough.

After that, he let them punch him, throw him around in the empty street, and use him like a punching ball, every blow hurt, feet planting on his back and ribcage, and fist coming for his jaw and nose.

And it hurt like hell.

So much that for once, he didn’t need to do it again next week. He could feel the damage under his skin, could feel everything in him tense and hurt and scream from pain.

He didn’t fight back, not like he was supposed to like everyone, he let them punch him, blow after blow landing on his body, and it hurt, everytime, with every single blow.

But he was feeling so much better, he was feeling his heart again, his blood rushing, his breath leaving his lips with the taste of blood on his tongue, he could feel something that for once wasn’t the emptiness of his normal life.

With the pain, he was feeling alive.

“Piece of shit” Say one of them with a rictus Jungkook wanted to just laugh at, but at the moment his vision was to blurry and his face to puffy to smile correctly.

He was breathing hard, looking at the guys going away after some profanity leaving their mouth, leaving him alone and lonely on the ground.

It wasn’t the first time, but it sure felt like it, he was used to the feeling of being bitten up, he would even welcome it everytime he had a chance, but the moment after, when all that was left was him lying down wasn’t something he liked, he could felt the abnormality in his act those time, could feel the night mocking him, and his loneliness taking over his being.

He was so fucked up, so much, in his life he never heard or saw anyone who loved being beaten up,

Those moment, when vulnerability would be his only friend, he would laugh out loud just to make the monsters hidden in the shadow of his mind go away. It doesn’t work everytime, but after all he wasn’t sick, he was just desperate.

He doesn’t know how much time he was lying down, breathing hard and eyes looking up at the dark sky, with his mind all over the place.

Normally he would stay there hours, until the sun was peeking through buildings before standing up and going home, but that day he heard feet approaching him, heavy boots quickly coming to his direction, like someone running.

The person didn’t talk, crouching down next to him and making his face appear in his view.

The figure was pale, paler under the moonlight, blond locks falling on his forehead with a black cap covering them and dark circle under his eyes. He wasn’t one of the persons who beat him up, he was older, with something like a leather jacket on his shoulder and carrying the smell of cigarette with him.

He’s vision was still too blurry to saw anything else, but he let the person help him, let him move him like a raged doll, not feeling the satisfaction anymore now that the moment had passed.

The pain had started to take over his entire body, making every movement feel like another blow thrown on his body.

And the sensation makes him laugh internally.

When the person makes him sit down, he looks up to meet catlike eyes, the person was pretty, pink lips and small nose, too pretty to be here, and with Jungkook state of mind, he wasn’t sure to see or even think correctly.

He moved away from the stranger hands when he gain enough strength to support his own weight and force himself to stand up shakily on his legs.

“I don’t think you should move…” and Jungkook doesn’t listen, still too out of it to not just imagining voices in his head so he just smiles at the stranger who was looking at him strangely.

He must look ugly with his face swollen and blood everywhere, so he just moved away, bending down to thank the person without trying to fall down again, before turning away with his legs trembling from the sudden movement, without listening to the stranger voice protesting behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

Hiding something from Namjoon is hard.

It’s like his eyes can see trough you and deciber every single part of your soul, that’s why the next day when he come out of his room with his face covered with foundation he had pick from Jimin belongings he had left in there bathroom, hiding cuts and skin that started to colored in an ugly purple, Namjoon stop him.

Normally he would be amazed by how Namjoon could see everything, how he could look at people soul and understand them, but not this time. This time he just wanted to disappear from his eyes, want to hide until the marks on his face fades, until he didn’t have to grimace everytime he would open his mouth.

“What happened?”

It’s the first time he let himself slip enough that he hadn’t felt the blow on his face, usually he would try to protect his face for the simple reason, he didn’t want to any of his friend to know about what his whereabout.

When he would come back, all of his wounds would always be on his body, covered with his clothes, heeling silently without anyone knowing except himself, that was why he never thought for any excuse before and didn’t know what to say, avoiding Namjoon gaze.

“Jungkook?”

He doesn’t know how to answer, looking at Namjoon torso with a frown that makes him want to hiss, trying to think of the first intelligent answer that would be enough to makes his friend believe.

“Some teenager just jumps on me last night.” He said, it wasn’t really a lie, and it was good enough for him but not Namjoon who frown, knowing well that Jungkook could defend himself easily with his experience in Taekwondo.

“I don’t remember anything other than a stranger helping me, they were 5 and I was drunk.” He ends, hopping that it was enough for Namjoon to not ask more, at it seems to be when the older sigh, taking his phone out before turning to him.

“I’ll call your Tan stay home today and remove what you put on, I’ll ask Jimin to bring something for your injury.”

“I’m fine” he mumbles, wanting to feel the pain a little longer, all that was left was a dull pain. Or pain in his lips and jaw when he would speak or try to smile. Nothing important.

“You don’t look fine and you know Jimin would say the same.” he turns away to search for their first aid kit, letting Jungkook sigh loudly behind.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to be with the last one, but I completely forgot to write this part. I’ll put it in order when I post the next chapter

Jimin comes a little later, a frown already there and a put that had been cute if not a little upset. His eyes widening comic at the sight of Jungkook sited on the couch, he had removed his make up with water, a task that had been a little harder than what he had thought, the foundation being waterproof, his hiss and curse had been heard enough time for Namjoon to help him after searching in naver that he could remove it with olive oil, the bruise that had appeared after was too ugly for the older to keep a straight face, eyes tracing there form. There was a red spot on his cheek, his lower lip was cut, and his jawline was turning purple.

And Jimin didn’t liked what he was seeing at all.

“What happened ?!”

Taehyung was behind him, with plastic bags in hands that he put on the floor quickly before coming to him, he was too tired to moved away, letting Jimin sat next to him, hand ghosting his face probably afraid to touch.

Taehyung was the first to take what they had bring and taking care of the injuries, he put a cold ointment on the red and purple zone of his face, hearing a whine from the youngest at the unpleasant sensation.

“For someone who had been bitten up, you act like a baby.” Mumble Taehyung, making Jungkook frown, ignorant the strident “What ?!” from Jimin who had started to clean his lip that had reopen.

“Who said I was bitten up?”

“Please, you would never let anyone touch your face.” It silences him, pouting that he couldn’t even lies without being caught.

Jungkook hated being babied, it was like he was back to years ago, when his life had change forever, when his brother had refused to live him mourn alone the loss of the only person he had admired. But he knew it was also the only way his friends would feel a lot better, like his brother, knowing he was taken care of.

And Jungkook hated it, not being able to deal with his pain again. It was why he hurt himself partly.

To clean his wounds himself.

Jimin eyes had started to fill with unshed tears that wasn’t feeling well with Jungkook, because part of his nocturne fights were because he didn’t want his friend to be upset knowing he was doing it to himself consciously.

“Why are you crying ?” He asks with a small voice, not knowing what to do to makes the older feel better, he wasn’t supposed to be here in the first place, they weren’t supposed to know at all so all that was happening was out of his knowledge.

He never had to wipe someone tear, so all he did was to look eyes wide to Jimin trying to breathe deeply before looking up at him.

“I’m just worried…” he whispers, letting a tear fall that he wipes quickly, before closing the tube that he put aside before standing up when more tears escape his eyes. And Jungkook couldn’t hold the fears that his hyung was upset because of him, straightening up to stop him.

“I’m fine you know, they were just teenager, I’m totally fine, it didn’t even hurt anymore.” He tries to convey, and he see in Jimin that it wasn’t enough, lips already forming in words that die down when Taehyung interrupted them.

“Jiminie, why don’t you make something for him to eat, your food is always healthier than all of ours.” And the older nod, not waiting for Jungkook to say something else and turning away without looking at him.

They don’t talk after that, Taehyung gesturing to him to follow in his room. He let the older makes him sit down on his bed, still thinking about a way to makes them understand that he was okay and hoping that they would forgot about everything soon, but then Taehyung gesture to his sweatshirt, opening the ointment bottle again.

“I didn’t say anything in front of Jimin, but you have a red mark on you neck, remove your shirt so I can check.” And Jungkook felt himself turn white at that.

Showing them his face was something, but his body was another.

“Did they attack you everywhere ?” Taehyung ask when Jungkook didn’t move a long minute, eyes wide looking at the older who was waiting for him patiently.

“I’m fine hyung, I can do it myself” He tried with a small voice, he was too afraid to let them see his stomach, the mark was too ugly even for him, so for them, who couldn’t handle his face, Taehyung would probably force him to go to the hospital.

“Jungkook, let us take ware of you.” And Jungkook hated it, he wanted to say it, how much he hated being considered breakable when he was not but he doesn’t protest. Looking down on his trembling hands and trying not cry from frustration.

“I know it’s bad, I already seen some Kookie, and I know you can do it yourself, but I just want to make sure it’s not serious” It wasn’t just bad, he wanted to say, it was the worse he ever had. The younger looks at him a moment before removing his sweat slowly, trying to scoot his expression to not show how much it was painful when he was moving a certain way.

The skin around his stomach was starting to color in a dark purple, there was bruise everywhere, his shoulder, back and a few on his arm, ugly and showing violence enough for Taehyung to start his ministration immediately.

He didn’t say anything, eyes focused on every bruise and applying the ointment carefully. The silence wasn’t heavy but Jungkook had wait for a bad reaction, a remark, shock something that never come.

After a moment, when after his stomach and shoulder he passed to his back, he feels a pressure on one of injury that make shim whine loudly enough for Jimin to heard.

“I’m fine my ass.” mumble Taehyung, continuing without another word. Outside of the door, he could here Jimin trying to enter the room, stopped by Namjoon in time, he didn’t hear what they were saying, too focused on Taehyung who seems to have finish, packing everything with eyes still lurking on him trying to search for a missing spot.

“You know that none of us would let you go to your training until you heal.” and Jungkook didn’t like it, not at all. He knew a lost battle when he sees one, he could already see his friend by his side all day until every mark of his face would be gone.

“I had worse in training.” he tries nonetheless, not surprised when Taehyung throw him a look that say a lot about how much the older wasn’t going to back down.

“Doesn’t mean you’re good enough to go.”

Jungkook wanted to protest, he was even ready for an argument. He wouldn’t be able to stay calm without his nocturn escape, it had become his everyday thing, a way to let his demons set free. Some days, if his nights fight would be too severe for him that he needed to bandage himself in the darkness of his room, he would try to break free on his taekwondo training, letting his opponent to use him as much he wanted, feeling better enough after, that he didn’t need to escape at night for another few days, heeling completely.

But if he couldn’t even do that, Jungkook would go crazy.

Before he could even argue, Namjoon come, telling them that lunch was ready making Jungkook sigh hugging back Jimin, knowing how physical comfort makes the shorter always feel better, who had envelope him carefully in his embrace before asking him to come eat.


	5. Chapter 5

Jungkook wasn’t crazy, he wasn’t suicidal either. He was just hurt.

A hurt soul that hadn’t find a way to heal.

Jungkook was 19 years old when his father die, most people would say he was too young and shouldn’t be going through that, because no one is prepared to let go of one of his parent at that young age, but the thing was Jungkook was prepared since his 14 birthday.

Mr. Jeon had died by a cancer, he had fight it for five long year, during which his sons had saw him wilted.

Human life was so fragile, and Jungkook had seen it himself how humans were like a flower, dying so slowly and yet so suddenly, but even with a fight, even with as much will and hope as his father had, human couldn’t survive.

Not when death was waiting for him.

Jungkook had seen everything and had to grow up before anyone at this young age, he had to look at this deadly shadow lurking around his father without being able to do anything to fight it.

That was how, he had taken the habit to stay against his father door when it was close, listening to his hissing breath or his voice when he was talking, it was like a need to hear him, a proof that he was still here, still alive, that everything was still okay, something he couldn’t help doing.

He remember a few weeks before his death how he had heard his parents cry for the first time, quiet sob of his mother was heard through the room and it makes him cry to, if he had been younger and a little immature, he would have interrupt them, make his presence known, and cry out that he didn’t want to see them like that, but he didn’t, instead he stand up, walking with trembling legs to his room and sob silently with his face planted in his pillow.

When he come back to the door days after, not knowing how to face his father, Mr. Jeon called him, making him lie beside him with a hand slowly caressing his hair and whispering in his ear with as much strength he could muster those days.

“Take care of eomma, Kookie, you and Seokjin need to take care of her, and to each other, you have to be strong for three people.”

And Jungkook had turn his face in the crook of his father arm, breathing in his scent, comforting and familiar, and cried silently, letting the tears flow down and damp his father shirt.

The hand didn’t stop moving and he didn’t stopped his tears either, he don’t remember how much time passed but it was enough for his father to believe that he was asleep, because he heard a broken voice after, a whisper that he would carry all his life.

“I’m sorry to leave you so soon, I’m so sorry to be so weak… I’m so sorry…”

His father dies in his sleep in the middle of the night a few days later, when his mother finds him, he was long gone.

Jungkook was walking to his class when he received the call. The first thing that came in mind taking his phone out of his pocket and reading his mother name was _Please, not now, please, please, please…_ his heart was beating too fast, anxiety and fear clogging his sense but when he put the phone to his ear and hear the broken voice of his mother, a sob tried to rip out through his throat.

 _How he could die_ , he stays in the hallway of his university, standing up in the middle of the corridor, trying to calm himself down and whisper with as much control he can mustered.

“I’ll come back.” He whispered.

The way back was silent, lost in thought and heart wild with sadness, it was the worse hours of his whole life, but it was just the beginning of something Jungkook hadn’t any control in.

After that day, the house was silent for days, people coming and going, bowing and offering sad pitied smiles, Jungkook stay by his brother side, his mother trying to stay strong in front of everyone, silent tears flowing down his tears, but silent become Jungkook friend, tears flowing down his cheeks and face hidden behind his long hair.

Everything had passed in a blur, too rapid for Jungkook to understand what was happening, to slow to leave his mind and properly say goodbye.

Jungkook grew up to rapidly in the past few years, he lost his friends because of his silence, lost his confidence when he couldn’t look at anyone in the eyes because of his fear to be pitied, lost everything, he didn’t go to anywhere with anyone, and that since they knew Mr. Jeon hadn’t much time, when he was 18, his father had sit him down, eyes in his.

“Jungkook, don’t close in on yourself, I’m here, I’m still here and always will, don’t do something you won’t have any control on later.”

But it was too late.

The days, months after his death, he didn’t cry, not like he should have, his pain, grief and sorrow never leave his body, containing and bubbling in him slowly, so much, that it blind his sense at time making him angry at himself and the world for reason he couldn’t think of.

Maybe his father was right, because now, alone, deep in the shadows of his own mind, he didn’t have any control over himself even when he tried to.

Leaving a life without his father was hell, he was used to lie down beside him, who could be more lethargic in the last few day, but he was still here, his warmness would enveloped him, and Jungkook would just stay there, rolled in ball and looking at his peaceful face, but now…

He was alone, he didn’t move from his bed since his death, Seokjin would come to him, hugging him, and staying quiet thinking that maybe Jungkook needed it.

But Jungkook didn’t, the quietness, their tears, the emptiness was making everything more real, about the loss, about himself being unable to feel anything.

Strangely, Seokjin’s shoulder remind him of his father’s and it would make his heart brock everytime the older would hug him, but at least, he had the feeling that his father was still here.

Jungkook had always fear to loose someone, but now that his fear had come true and he had loose the most important person in his life, he was lost, he was feeling alone even when Seokjin and his mother were here. At night he would stay awake, eyes boring the celling, and hand clutching a picture of his father that he had kept under his pillow.

And often, he would go to his father room, after midnight when everyone was fast asleep, it was the only thing that keep him sane.

He keeps this during days, weeks and months, his mother should know, but no one stopped him from sleeping in his father bed.

Mr. Jeon was everywhere, in the parfum Jungkook used, in the food where they kept his father favorite seasoning, in the wall where pictures were still hanging, and in the memories.

And he hoped that it would never change, he didn’t want the memory, the presence of his father to fade away.

He just needed time to keep up, time to heal, time to accept, at least just enough time for Jungkook to become a real adult.

Because he had to, he was soon 21 but he wasn’t even close to an adult, he was lost, like a child needing someone to take his hand.

But there was no one, no one he could trust enough to show him the road when he was completely blind by his heart.

Until he meets Namjoon

Dear, sweat Namjoon.


	6. Chapter 6

The first time he meets Namjoon, it’s days before his new year in university.

He had come all the way from Busan just the day before to look around Seoul before his classes starts. The city wasn’t different from his hometown except he missed his home.

It was the first time he was so far from home, but mostly the first time he was alone. Seokjin had went back this morning after breakfast, hugging him a long moment before crossing the door, and Jungkook was missing him already and an entire day hadn’t even passed.

At lunch time, he had gone in the coffee in front of the campus to not feel his family absence.

The place was empty considering most of the student haven’t comeback from their home yet.

Jungkook had just takes a sit in the far corner after ordering the cheapest thing, mind thinking about what he would go now that he had a few free days, he was in the middle of planning his afternoon when he feel someone stopping next to his table.

He didn’t turn to the person, the entire coffee was empty and Jungkook being the person who preferred to have his table entirely for himself was praying for the stranger to go away, but in the end, he see him takes the sit in front of him.

The person was tall, with long arms and dimple in both cheeks, his hair was a light brown, parted on the side but what makes Jungkook looks at him a little longer was the stranger smile, kind and warm. A smile that remind him of Seokjin a lot and makes him miss harder.

“I’m Namjoon, Kim Namjoon.”

That’s how they met, with Namjoon too curious, wanting to know the lonely boy who looks like a bunny. Years later the older would confess after too much drink that the only reason he had approach Jungkook was because of his eyes, “You have eyes of someone who’s holding an entire universe on your shoulder, and I just wanted to help you, but then you smiled and for a small second, maybe I had a crush on you.”

It had makes Jungkook punch him loosely, friends laughing hard and him blushing even harder, but in the end Jungkook never regretted meeting Namjoon.

Because he was the one who make him feel better, the one who knew more about him that he knew himself.

The only one who knew about his father because of his own confession the same night when their friends had gone home, Jungkook unable to contain all the emotion that was going through him.

The younger was a quiet person, he never talked about his father to anyone, never opened up about himself or speak at all or that matter.

Jungkook had always had a hard time with new people, but it just worsens after his lose, so having a conversation was impossible. He had always felt a wall between him and the others and that never changed until Namjoon comes in his life.

With his warm smile and knowing eyes, he makes him think of his father, he tried to be away from him, tried to not make new friends simply because he didn’t know how to keep them, but he was drown by the older who was feeling slowly the emptiness in Jungkook drop by drop.

By his words, smiles and eyes that could read through him like a book, it was strangely easy to fall in this new routine, to see the older everyday and to smile with him too. Strangely easy to open up at least a little to a new person, strangely easy to trust him.

That’s why for the second year he didn’t hesitate to move in with his new friend, a fried that he hoed will stay close, because for once, a whole new person was making him feel better.

At least he thought.

His mess, his intern mess had started long before his father death.

In the beginning it was just bad thought, leading him to break down and loneliness in his empty room, he was just a teenager and didn’t know how to deal with it, had never thought to talk to anyone, less to seek help.

That’s why when it worsens, when his sadness, anger and despair changed in something autodestructed, he didn’t think to talk about it, it had because a used to feeling that had started to clog his feelings.

When he was 16, he remember crying in the middle of the night without any reason, it had become so worse that sometime he would feel sad without knowing why, other time he would let the tears fall and feel nothing inside, like he was broken.

It didn’t help that his family was taking his silence like a way to grief, they try to shield him, to protect him, try to replace his father duty by their words, and Jungkook didn’t want that.

Didn’t want them to play a role that wasn’t for them, but especially he didn’t want them to treat him like a child, because he wasn’t.

Maybe it started that way, the feeling to prove himself by fighting, by showing them he could take some wounds and not cry. That’s how he had find himself after high school one day, punching some senior he didn’t liked in first place.

He wasn’t suicidal, and he didn’t even want to hurt himself like how other would think, he wasn’t even the type to take part in troubles, but he wanted to fall down, to touch the ground and never stand up just to show that he could do it.

And maybe feel something, anything other than the numbness he had covered himself in those years.

He stays quiet during weeks after that, treating his own wounds at night when everyone would fall asleep, silently crying when it will hurt too much but smiling because he was feeling something, even if it was pain, he was feeling soothing.

He wasn’t broken.

And the realization that he was normal had makes him cry all night, keeping his father picture close to his heart even if he was lying the room next door.

That’s how he started it, in the beginning it would be just small fight, mostly to put his mind off and feel something.

But slowly it becomes the only think that makes him feel good, so he continues, again and again. Never stopping, hiding his wounds to everyone, disappearing when everyone was asleep and coming back home before the sunrise.

He didn’t care if no one understood him, because he himself didn’t understand what was happening, he just wanted to feel, to have control, to say stop to the hurt whenever he wanted and it wasn’t like he was planning for anyone to know about it.

Until one night, Namjoon caught him, half asleep but eyes still looking at his soul.

“How about you starting a sport? A Box or Taekwondo ? I hear you go out every night, if you need to loosen up, you should have told me, I have a friend in those field. “

That’s how he started Taekwondo, mostly for Namjoon to stop looking at him, but also because it helped a little, enough that he didn’t need to go out every other night.

He had been grateful, hugging the older after every of his section, cuddling on their couch with Jimin or Taehyung around, letting them pat his hair when they were feeling left out.

And he was better, he really was, but after being caught up, his friends following him everywhere just to make sure he was okay, Jungkook was feeling restless. It had been two weeks now since he didn’t have any training or fights, his injuries had been long recovered, something that didn’t happen since years.

It was the longest he had gone through it without breaking down, but he was feeling himself reaching his limits, his inside twisting and bubbling to explode anytime.

That’s why when Namjoon proposed to go to his company party, Jungkook couldn’t help but say yes, mind already preparing a way to escape their friends, and finally be able to feel free again.


	7. Chapter 7

Hello,  
This is not an update.  
I’m putting this AU on hold, it’s not discontinued at all.  
I made the mistake to start writing and posting too many AU at once and now I’m like... sleep deprived ? Overload ? Overworked ? (I’ll think of a good word...)  
So like I decide to fiynish the AU that are advanced enough first or near the end or at least far enough in the story that stopping them would be a crime.  
(It doesn’t mean that this AU doesn’t deserved better but I have to select... I’m sorry if this one is your favorite...)  
So this AU ISN’T stopped, I promise. It’s just on a small break (2/4 months)  
I invite you to read my other stories during that time and hope you to read them.  
If you want to leave a comment, feedback, please do it in the other chapters, this one would be deleted when I started this story again.  
For a question, my TWT :MaryByYou  
Thanks a lot for your patience and stay safe.


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